As we are now in the fifth month of 2019, I realize I haven’t officially declared my word for 2019 yet. This is the fifth year that I have forgone a more traditional New Year’s resolution and instead opted for a word/theme to set the tone for the year.
Last year, my word was boundaries after 2017 saw one of the hardest years of my life. Betrayal, heartbreak, self-doubt, chaos, triumph, beauty and a rediscovery of strength led me into my biggest growth year to date, 2018. I spent the majority of the year figuring out how to incorporate boundaries into my life. From work to friends and everything else in between, setting boundaries was harder than I originally thought it would be.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still learning about setting boundaries. Sometimes I’m great at it, and other times I’m awful at it. The difference is I’m conscious of where I need boundaries. I attribute a lot of this to finally getting counseling. A tough realization I had early in 2018 was that I should have visited a counselor after my divorce. I can’t help but think that if I had dealt with all of the emotions and pain then that I would never have gotten involved with certain people and situations.
Patterns are hard to break, but not impossible. You’ve just got to put the work in and not be afraid to have gut-checking conversations with yourself. You know the ones I’m talking about –- the ones where you ask yourself a question and you answer back.
I ended 2018 exhausted, but hopeful. 2018 was a huge growth year for me. I was the editor in chief of a an ill-fated but amazing magazine, I traveled to three countries, strengthened and made new friends, made better business decisions, and I even met a handsome man who showed me a level of kindness, care and respect I had never experienced.
So, it’s time to talk about 2019. My word for 2019 is open. I realize that after setting boundaries to protect myself, I still need to be open to things that will add joy to my life. Here is what I mean when I say open is my word for 2019…
Have an open heart, open mind, and open arms, but also keep your eyes and ears open. Listen to your gut, but let your heart lead you towards positive things and people. There is still beauty in the world, so seek it. Pay attention to the words and actions of others. Give people an opportunity, but if their words and actions don’t match up, wish them well on their journey, but don’t invite them to join yours. If it sounds too good to be true, it may be or it may just be that good. Don’t close off just because you’re scared. If there isn’t a mix of fear or excitement when making a big decision, don’t do it. You’ve fallen flat on your face before, but you picked yourself up. You can do it again.
Although I would have loved to bypass some of the pain in my life, particularly around relationships, I now realize that I was supposed to go through it all. Where would I be today if I hadn’t gone through the pain? I came out on the other side of it all and I proud of myself. I’m not perfect, but I own it all.
Cheers to a year full of openness and hope.